merry merry!

Merry Christmas to all my readers and here's to a colic-less New Year!!

1-3 Month Faves

Here are some of our favorite things over the past few months, Jonas approved.

Exercise ball-I got one to use during labor which was great for working through contractions but we are getting WAY more use out of it now. Jonas loves to be bounced, all day and night if he had his way. Even if I am just sitting still on the ball, he prefers it to me sitting with him on the couch (go figure). Either way, this is the most used item on this list.

Dr. Brown's bottles-We registered for these because we prefer to use glass instead of plastic. Thankfully Jonas took to them like a charm, but I do know you may have to shop around before finding a bottle your baby will love. We have used other bottles (he will take any brand/kind) and the Dr. Browns have never leaked....more than I can say about Avent.

Bob Stroller-I was lucky enough to be able to use my sister-in-law's strollers. This one is my fave! I cannot believe how smooth the ride is. Sometimes I think Jonas needs it a little bumpier even to fall asleep. ;) It is so easy to push one handed while you drink your coffee or talk on the phone. It is also super easy to flatten and pop back up. It takes up a good portion of your trunk, though.

Ubbi Steel Diaper Pail-You can use your own trash bags and no smell, no smell, no smell! I know Jonas' breast milk poops aren't anything to complain about in comparison to babies on solid food, but I have a feeling this will stand up to those. You can use with disposables or cloth.

Travel Sleep Sheep-This was amazing in the first month or so. We used it non-stop. 4 soothing sounds of white noise, although we never really got into the whale sound. It was even very soothing for Jon and I to fall asleep to. Small enough to go wherever you want. A must for any baby registry.

Rockabye Baby! Music-These are just awesome. Songs we know and love made into instrumental lullabies. I was dragging my feet uploading them from the CD to my ipod when a mom in my mom's group said she swears by them for making her daughter fall asleep. I popped one in my car later that day and it didn't take more than one block for Jonas to fall asleep! We love the Bob Marley, Coldplay, Green Day, Beach Boys and No Doubt ones.

Seventh Generation diapers (and wipes)-These are what we will use until Jonas fits into his Fuzzi Bunz cloth diapers. They are awesome and don't leak like the Huggies and Honest Co. ones did. Bonus for no chlorine or added fragrances. It is so weird, we use these primarily but I used a few non SG ones and noticed the others have a "baby powder" type smell! Very weird and unnecessary.

Pampers Swaddlers-Newborn-With that said, these were our favorite for when we used the Newborn size. This is what the hospital had and for good reason. We tried a few other brands and I don't know what it was, but these were the only ones that didn't leak. When a newborn goes through 10 diapers (or more) a day, you pick up pretty quick which are the best ones.

SkipHop owl-Ok, this is Jonas' favorite toy ever. We have it hanging by the changing table and whenever we lay him down there he looks up and sees Mr. Owl and smiles so big like "Hello, old friend!!" He will gaze at him and give him familiar smiles, it is the cutest. We actually don't move him from the changing table because we don't want him to get tired of it. So far, he is still obsessed after almost 3 months.

Senor Squeaks

This was Jonas' first time playing peek-a-boo, which he is still a little young for, so this reaction was surprising. Normally he talks to us and coos on the changing table, laying on his blanket and looking in the mirror and then little random ones throughout the day. This is the longest "chat", with the most enthusiasm and they were all new sounds to us. He gets a little over stimulated around 34 seconds, but the beginning just kills me. Cutest noises ever.

Catch-up, Photodump, Hi, remember me?

Well the colic hasn't broke, but we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. (As I write this, he is screaming his head off with Jon in the other room...) I had always wanted to take photos for our Christmas card this year but was worried about his colic and being able to get the shots we needed. Above is the money shot. That's what we paid for, basically. 7 weeks old and looking oh-so-cute. Because in between every decent shot he was screaming and we were bouncing him or blasting a radio or trying to show him toys in hopes of getting one or two good shots. It was a hectic and a kinda stressful afternoon, but I'm glad we did it.

Thanksgiving. Hey, at least his sweater is cute.

 We started him on probiotics (BioGaia) and I really have seen some improvements since day 3 of starting them. He is actually happy in the morning after he wakes up and we have been playing. I even heard his first laugh the other day! So much fun. And now he smiles all the time and we can get him to smile for us, before it was sort of random. Nothing better than seeing his smiling face.

As tempting as it was to get a cheap tree from Costco...babies first Christmas, blah blah blah. We bought an overpriced one from the tree farm. He slept the whole time in the Ergo. Family of 3, yo!

Holding his head up like a big boy. We are playing catch up on tummy time, since he wasn't a fan in the early months. He wasn't a fan of anything, actually. So in his few happy moments we weren't going to ruin it by putting him on his stomach. Trying to squeeze lots of TT in now.

We are loving baby clothes from American Apparel and Old Navy! Don't let his face fool you.

I miss this space. I miss all of you! I hope to not let so much time pass before another post. 

Living with a colicky baby (A blog break)

{a rare moment}

Before I had Jonas I think I thought "colic" simply meant a baby was gassy. I didn't know or pay much attention to the word. Colic can be defined as a condition of a healthy baby in which it shows periods of intense, unexplained fussing/crying lasting more than 3 hours a day, more than 3 days a week for more than 3 weeks.

If Jonas is awake, he is crying. Not light fussing, but crying, screaming, scratching his face, throwing his head around, CRYING. And this has been the case since he was born. We didn't know it was colic right out the gate since he was so young it was hard to tell. Even though around 2 weeks old one day he cried violently for 13 hours straight (minus nursing). I didn't want to believe it, because there is no cure. I wanted to think it was something in my diet making my breast milk hard for him to digest or maybe acid reflux, but now at almost 7 weeks, its clear that this baby has colic. And it is not so clear how I have not yet jumped off a bridge. 

Thankfully the first two weeks are long gone and I no longer have to deal with my body healing from the physical stuff that happened during labor and the intense roller coaster of emotions that were dumped on me afterwards, because dealing with that and the colic? Well that was a pretty dark time. Now my body is healed and my head is clear and it still feels like the hardest thing I've ever dealt with. 

So it's amazing I made it through the very beginning.

Other than the obvious little things like its hard to find time in the day to shower, go to the bathroom or make myself something to eat, its extremely isolating. I feel trapped in my house. I did join a mom's group and have gone a few times and I know they don't mind him screaming, but I do. Its exhausting enough dealing with him at home (with all my "tricks" nearby) but in a park with a bunch of people I've just met? A little more challenging. 

On the rare occasion he takes a long day time nap, I usually nap too. Or eat my one meal of the day before Jon can come home and relieve me. I am not about to go hit the social scene when I am so exhausted. There isn't energy left for me. And speaking of that, he is only eating breast milk, so I am solely up with him around the clock feeding him in the middle of the night and every other time. Jon would love to help with feedings but I honestly have no time to pump. And when I do have a free 30 minutes? It's usually not at the top of my list. 

Which I guess is my own fault. 

Where is this post going? I don't know. I just wanted to explain my absence a bit. Basically, for the past 7 weeks I've had a baby screaming his ass off in my face whenever his big blue eyes are open.

I hope to be back sooner than later.

Lately

How about a good catch-all catch-up post? Since that is all I can handle these days!

-As you can see above we sent out Jonas' birth announcements. I had a livingsocial deal for Paper Culture, I think they turned out pretty cute. We didn't order a ton since I figured we would send out more Christmas cards than usual with his mug on those too.

-Despite the colic and possible reflux, things do seem to be evening out over here. By that, I mean when he is awake he is still almost always crying, but those moments where he isn't? He is smiling, borderline cooing, staring deeply at his "art" or just being a pure joy. We live for those moments.

-I feel I have a running to-do list in my head broken down by how long each task is. I find if Jon has Jonas for 20 minutes, I can pump and paint my nails. If he has him for 5 minutes, I can pee and update the Netflix queue. These little things stack up in my brain. We take turns dealing with fussypants and then when I have free arms, I whisk around the house like a little tornado.

-Jonas sure was born during an exciting year with the Year of the Dragon, Olympics, Giants sweeping the World Series and the election. I sure won't ever forget what 2012 felt like.

-Nursing at Jon's office? Check, Check. Nursing at a party? Check, Check. Nursing out in public? Check, Check. Gotta feed my baby!

-Finally ordered my Ergo baby carrier. Cannot wait for it to arrive! Jonas is not loving the Moby wrap for as long as he used to. I have heard so many great things about the Ergo it seemed like a no-brainer.

Halloween

After a tough mom + baby day I wasn't really too excited for a night of Halloween festivities but I am glad I bucked up because it was Jonas' first Halloween, after all. Here are some snaps from the night.

My cousin and his family have a great neighborhood for trick or treating, it even gets blocked off with cones so cars can't drive through. All night long trick or treaters were constantly flowing up to the door while we enjoyed chili and cornbread inside since we are a year off from bringing Jonas door to door.

I love a good classic Jack-o-lantern.

The welcoming porch and front door-left open all night. We need a porch swing!

Mama, daddy and grandpa with our little sweet pea (green bean?)

Happy Halloween sweet baby J!

Operating Instructions

{The perfect book to read while nursing..notice Jonas' head}

One of the things about breastfeeding, especially in the beginning when your baby feeds every 2 hours, is that you have massive amounts of downtime where you can't do anything! Obviously I thumb through my iphone and the many apps I have downloaded, but even that gets old. Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year by Anne Lamott is fantastic. A must-read for first time mama's, and not necessarily those to boys. This book is written in a journal style so its a great quick read and easy to stop and put down and pick right up again at the next nursing session. I can't even tell you how many times I have experienced something new (happens daily) and there it is, on the pages on this book. This book has made me laugh out loud numerous times, which I haven't done since Tina Fey's Bossypants. Bonus points for the author being from the Bay Area and getting lots of local references. 

An expert that made me laugh and nod my head:

I wonder if it is normal for a mother to adore her baby so desperately and at the same time to think about choking him or throwing him down the stairs.  It's incredible to be this fucking tired and yet have to go through the several hours of colic every night. It would be awful enough to deal with if you were feeling healthy and upbeat. It's a bit much when you're feelings like total dog shit. When he woke me up at 4:00 this morning to nurse, I felt like I was dying. 

Yep. I am glad I didn't read this book when I was still pregnant or I would have thought the author was a monster. Now, after having no decent sleep for nearly a month, feeding around the clock and having a colicky baby that doesn't take a pacifier...I TOTALLY GET IT.

Another:

Sam slept through the night. I don't want to jinx things by saying it too loudly, but it is true...It was very confusing at first. My initial thought was that he had died. Then I actually let out a whoop and have been moving joyfully around the house like Julie Andrews on the mountainside in The Sound Of Music ever since.

The good thing about this book is it gives me things to look forward to, like Jonas smiling (not from gas) and sleeping through the night.

Everything is Black and White

At three weeks we have intense focus on highly contrasting things, such as black and white images, painted stripes and wallpaper. I had no idea two big parts of our house I designed for a newborn baby!

There is a mirror on the reverse for when he gets older. Love this thing. It is starting to make Jonas cry less during diaper changes because he is so busy just staring at it, which is really cute because I just see his thoughts cranking.

 {circa 2009}

While the black and white striped wall is getting pretty tired at this point and a change would be nice, Jonas is in love with it! We will sit watching TV and he will peer over our shoulders staring deeply into it. 

{Empty built-in}

And I am also applauding my choice of a strong black and white graphic wallpaper for our family room built-in, because when Jonas and I are bouncing on the exercise ball, you guessed it, he is busy gazing at this wall. {The before and after built-in, featured on Design*Sponge}

What a difference

{excuse the messy room}

Here I am on September 25th, my due date, before heading to the gym for a long walk to hopefully induce labor. My water broke early the next morning at 2:20AM on September 26th and Jonas was born at 2:11AM on September 27th.

I remember feeling excited and hopeful. And now I look at this picture and I think, "silly girl, you have no idea what you got yourself into!"  Being pregnant sure was the easy part. Jonas is almost 3 weeks old and I will say that the last two weeks have held some of my toughest moments ever. But it's true, every day it gets a little bit better.

Pumpkin Patch

This weekend I had my first outing with Jon and Jonas, not counting the pediatrician appointment. We went to the Pumpkin Patch. Obviously more for me than Jonas, but I hope to make this a little tradition.

Had to dress our little guy in orange for the occasion.

Our new role as mama and daddy. I remember we came here once when we were boyfriend and girlfriend maybe 4 or 5 years ago. And now we are back with our offspring. Crazy!

Small fry. 

Going out with a newborn sure gets you a lot of attention. Other than the several warm smiles from other mothers, people love coming right up to you to ask how old he is and what not. I think between the pumpkin patch, Peets and Chipotle (we were on a roll!) we had little conversations with 6 different people. And it definitely has a different tone than the comments while pregnant. ;)

Hi there.

{8 day old baby Jonas}

I kind of don't know where to begin or how to write this post or what to even write about. They say there is no bigger transition in life than going from non-parent to parent and I would have to agree. I have free moments every now and again to blog but I am really stumped as what to write about! At this point talking about hot nail polish colors for fall makes me laugh. I will use the ever forgiving bullet point method to jot down some things on my mind.

-I think I plan on writing Jonas' birth story at some point...not sure

-It's funny how in any given room of our house there is either a breast pad, burp cloth or swaddle blanket

-Pete is dying for attention

-I have given Jonas ten thousand kisses

-He surpassed his birth weight in 5 days, most babies take 7-10 days. 

-My milk came in within 48 hours, most women it takes 3-5 days.

-It makes me feel proud that he is living only on the milk that I am providing him but it is the most exhausting thing ever. We both fall asleep during feedings. 

-Jon has been with us in the hospital or at home since his birth and he goes back to work on Monday. That's when the real test begins. ;)

-Having an iphone has been the best thing ever for those late night feedings

-Go Giants! ;)

Baby Jonas is here!

With a full heart, I would like to announce the birth of my son, Jonas. He entered this world on September 27th, 2012 at 2:11 in the morning. He weighed in at 8 pounds and 7 ounces and measured 20 and 3/4 inches in length. As you can imagine, Jon and I are over the moon.

Be back soon.
H.

Due Date.

As I sit here on my due date (or more accurately, my "guess date") I realized I never posted about when we found out I was pregnant. You don't have to settle in or get cozy, this isn't that long of a story. :) So we decided to start trying for a baby in January, the start of a new year seemed like a good place to begin. Also, at that point we had already been together nearly 5.5 years, so we didn't really feel like we needed to wait to "enjoy married life" since nothing changed at all once we got married! Additionally, since I am thought to have PCOS, I didn't know how this journey would go. Would it take 1-2 years, if at all?

So we tried in January on the days that the little online calculators told us would be our best chances. Fast forward a couple weeks later, on the day I was supposed to get my period, did I wait 1-3 days like a normal person? Nope, I went to CVS after work to pick up a test! I still remember putting it on the little belt with nothing else and the girl who checked me out. I go home and read all the instructions (there are A LOT) to make sure I am doing it right and all that. I pee on the first one and before I can even put it on the counter to go wait my 3 minutes, it turns positive! Um, what? I am half excited because its positive but also it feels like a fluke. I still feel the need to leave it alone in the bathroom for 3 minutes and when I return, its obviously the same. Positive! I wait probably a half hour or so before doing the other test (they come in packs of two) and this one doesn't turn at first, but after the 3 minutes it also says positive. Holy shit, right?

At this point, Jon is probably about 15 minutes from home and I'm wondering how to tell him and also kind of half dancing around the house and not really believing what has just happened. I leave the tests on the bathroom counter and when he comes home after we kiss "hello" I tell him "go look at what Pete did to the bathroom...." This isn't that weird since Pete is a little rascal and causes mischief constantly. Jon goes in the bathroom and out a couple seconds later....."what...?!" He didn't know I was even planning on taking the tests so he is shocked! I still half believe the results so we go back to CVS to get the most expensive digital test there is. And I see the same girl that checked me out earlier, really wonder what she is thinking now. We come home, I take them both, both positive. Seriously? To say we were shocked would be an understatement. Getting pregnant for the first time I'm sure is a trip no matter what, but on the first try seemed impossible. There were lots of "oh my god"s and happy tears that night.

{that night back in January}

Nice try, Skipolini's

I am sorry to inform you that the Prego Pizza did not work for me. But it was tasty dinner that I didn't have to cook, which was awesome. Even though my due date* is tomorrow, I am beginning to feel permanently pregnant!

*My original due date is October 4th and I am starting to think that's the real deal.

First Halloween

I am pretty excited baby Jonas is going to arrive right before a slew of holidays. I feel lucky to get to take him to a pumpkin patch and celebrate Halloween as it is one of my favorite holidays! But since he is going to be so small and it's going to be such a major adjustment period I wasn't planning on dressing him up. That was until yesterday...

What's this? A homemade knit present for our little bean?

Let's take a closer look at this little outfit. 

A green bean costume! How perfect!! I was over the moon when Jon brought home this present yesterday from a sweet family friend. I could not have thought of a better costume for our little boy.

Jonas' Nursery

Here it is, the big reveal of our little man's room. It was so fun to gather things for his small space and also a bit of a challenge since the room is so darn teeny. As you can see there isn't a theme but just an overall cheery feeling and lots of animal friends.

I hope he loves his room!

Any questions about sources, ask me and I will answer in the comments.

(But the big rug is from Urban Outfitters :) )